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A Harvard psychologist says people judge you based on 2 criteria when they first meet you
哈佛心理学:两个标准决定你的第一印象
People size you up in seconds, but what exactly are they evaluating?
通常,人们在第一次见面的几秒钟内就会对你做出评价,那么,他们到底会对你作何评价呢?
Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy has been studying first impressions alongside fellow psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick for more than 15 years, and has discovered patterns in these interactions.
哈佛商学院教授艾米.卡迪与心理学家苏珊.菲斯克和皮特.?格里克对第一印象的研究已经超过15年了,并发现了一些人际交往中的模式。
In her new book, "Presence," Cuddy says people quickly answer two questions when they first meet you:
她在新书《Presence》中称,人们第一次见到你的时候会快速确定两个问题:
Can I trust this person?
这是个值得信任的人吗?
Can I respect this person?
这是个值得尊重的人吗?
Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence respectively, and ideally you want to be perceived as having both.
心理学家将它们分别归为热情和能力的评判尺度,理想情况下你会希望在这两方面都得到肯定。
Interestingly, Cuddy says that most people, especially in a professional context, believe that competence is the more important factor. After all, they want to prove that they are smart and talented enough to handle your business.
有意思的是,卡迪称大部分人,尤其是在专业的环境中,认为能力是更为重要的一个因素。毕竟,他们想证明自己足够聪明、足够有才华去处理你的业务。
But in fact warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people evaluate you. "From an evolutionary perspective," Cuddy says, "it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust."
但事实上热情,或者说可信度,是人们在对你做出评价时更为重要的一个因素。“从进化论角度来看,”卡迪说,“确定一个人是否值得我们信任对我们的生存更重要。”
Cuddy’s new book explores how to feel more confident.
卡迪的新书探讨了如何让自己变得更有信心。
While competence is highly valued, Cuddy says it is evaluated only after trust is established. And focusing too much on displaying your strength can backfire.
卡迪称,能力固然重要,但它是在信任被建立起来的基础上才开始被评估的。而且有时候太爱表现自己的能力会适得其反。
Cuddy says MBA interns are often so concerned about coming across as smart and competent that it can lead them to skip social events, not ask for help, and generally come off as unapproachable.
卡迪说MBA实习生就是太想给人留下聪敏能干的印象,以至于他们不参加社交活动,不寻求帮助,通常最后变得不合群。
These overachievers are in for a rude awakening when they don’t get the job offer because nobody got to know and trust them as people.
当这些杰出人士找不到工作的时候他们才如梦初醒,因为没有人了解和信任他们。
"If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative," Cuddy says.
“如果你尝试去影响的人不信任你,那么你是走不远的。事实上,你可能引起别人的怀疑,因为你给人一种善于操纵别人的感觉。”卡迪说。
"A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat."
“一个热情、可靠的人通常也非常容易让人心生敬佩,只有当你建立起别人对你的信任之后,你的能力才能变成一种优势,而不是一种威胁。”
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